KISS

I wrote this up yesterday, but deleted it.  So I'm going on memory.

This might not sit well with a lot of people, but fuck 'em. I really can't stand KISS. And there's a lot not to like about them.

Nevermind the fact that Gene and Paul have Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer impersonating Ace and Peter. Most bands that have been around that long have been regulated to cover acts of their former lineups. But, at least the good ones are creative and evolve.

There's also the fact that Gene and Paul are both complete douche-bags. Many rock stars are, but when the only guy that can out-douche you is Ted Nugent, you need to take a hard look in the mirror.

Gene, for instance, has an inflated ego for which there is no competition.  Except for Paul's.  The guy likes to brag about having slept with over 4000 women. Quite a claim. True or not, it raises serious questions about the character of the man making the claim. Either way, it demonstrates an entire lack of respect for women in general. Keep it to yourself, Gene. Nobody worth the time of day gives a shit.

And then you have Paul. More people have been subjected to this asshole's hairy chest than care to remember. If that shit's real, we're talking serious pituitary disorder. Not the kind of thing you should be showing off.

And then there's the mass-marketing. George Lucas stands in awe of these assholes. KISS Kaskets? Really? If you buy one of these, they have to sneak you into the cemetery like a suicidal Jew.

If they thought there was a buck to be made, they'd market KISS antibiotics to their groupies.

The most damning evidence of their douche-baggerry is the inflated sense of worth they give to KISS, itself, while, at the same time, talking shit about their former members.

For a band that's supposedly so awe-inspiring, they've done an awful lot of following.

In the 80s, they jumped on the hair bandwagon faster than Mike Huckabee on a Chik-fil-A appreciation day.

Hell, they even recorded a disco song.

Yet, they both claim that KISS is the greatest thing since penicillin, which, if Gene's lies are to be believed, he singlehandedly drove up demand for throughout his career.

Look, guys, your band sucks. Why you're still a thing today is beyond fathoming.  Scientists would spend decades trying to figure it out, but nobody that has an IQ higher than a bull-weevil gives a shit.